After last Friday's Dr visit, I thought I was on the road to surgery this Friday. But at 8:03 Monday morning (Aug. 27) my oncologist called with different plans. He wants me to have an MRI done. I understand the reasons why, just a set back in my way of thinking.
So now on Friday, Aug 31 I will meet with the surgeon. Next Wednesday, September 5th I will travel to Temple/Scott & White and have the MRI.
I don't know who I will see after that.....
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
The Thing About Willard....
The thing about Willard is that he wasn't invited into my world. He's a party crasher that has no sense of humor and no place on my guest list.
But the good thing about Willard is that he has helped me to Prioritize life! Forced me to start that Bucket List in my mind....I'm not yet ready to put it to paper. I have no fear of my life ending in my mind. That, has never been an option....and after visiting with the Dr today, I was right. But knowing this uninvited living creature is in me, growing and fighting to have the right to move into other parts of my body and do harm to me gives me more strength to LIVE!
The need to love deeper, laugh louder and have time with the ones that mean the most to me becomes an overpowering desire. Positive energy that will flow throughout my being suffocating Willard to his core.
The Dr today spent 50 plus minutes drawing, discussing, educating and answering our questions. Phone calls will be made on Monday to try and set up surgery to remove the mass. Save the Boobs! and belly fat. *UGH* The more you do to your body, opens up more opportunities for your body to have negitive reactions....infection, side effects...ect.
There is no proof at this time, but speculation that the lymph nodes are clean is a great leap closer to a healthy future. This cancer is invasive, because it has learned to grow outside of it's "colony". When that happens, it can enter the blood system and travel to other parts of the body in my blood supply. Because it is "breast tissue" it really can't live other than the breast. But that cancer part of the breast tissue can learn to grow elsewhere. We will have more answers on it's successful or unsuccessful travels threw my body during/after surgery.
My Dr was glad to see Darcee, Dean and Todd sitting in my room waiting with him when he came in. I know it wasn't a life lesson any 18 year old male wants to hear, especially about his mothers boob....but he kept his squirming to a minimum. Once we got to the physical exam part, WHOOOSH....they were gone. Even though there was a curtain and they would not have seen a thing. I don't blame them!
Todd left the visit satisfied with our plan of attack and answers to his questions. Maybe he will stay away from the computer for the weekend and give his brain a rest on the education of breast cancer.
I think I'll take my own advice and just relax this weekend. So to all of you who are following me, know that my stress level is low, my knowledge is growing, relaxing is my goal and my heart is full of love for all of you!
But the good thing about Willard is that he has helped me to Prioritize life! Forced me to start that Bucket List in my mind....I'm not yet ready to put it to paper. I have no fear of my life ending in my mind. That, has never been an option....and after visiting with the Dr today, I was right. But knowing this uninvited living creature is in me, growing and fighting to have the right to move into other parts of my body and do harm to me gives me more strength to LIVE!
The need to love deeper, laugh louder and have time with the ones that mean the most to me becomes an overpowering desire. Positive energy that will flow throughout my being suffocating Willard to his core.
The Dr today spent 50 plus minutes drawing, discussing, educating and answering our questions. Phone calls will be made on Monday to try and set up surgery to remove the mass. Save the Boobs! and belly fat. *UGH* The more you do to your body, opens up more opportunities for your body to have negitive reactions....infection, side effects...ect.
There is no proof at this time, but speculation that the lymph nodes are clean is a great leap closer to a healthy future. This cancer is invasive, because it has learned to grow outside of it's "colony". When that happens, it can enter the blood system and travel to other parts of the body in my blood supply. Because it is "breast tissue" it really can't live other than the breast. But that cancer part of the breast tissue can learn to grow elsewhere. We will have more answers on it's successful or unsuccessful travels threw my body during/after surgery.
My Dr was glad to see Darcee, Dean and Todd sitting in my room waiting with him when he came in. I know it wasn't a life lesson any 18 year old male wants to hear, especially about his mothers boob....but he kept his squirming to a minimum. Once we got to the physical exam part, WHOOOSH....they were gone. Even though there was a curtain and they would not have seen a thing. I don't blame them!
Todd left the visit satisfied with our plan of attack and answers to his questions. Maybe he will stay away from the computer for the weekend and give his brain a rest on the education of breast cancer.
I think I'll take my own advice and just relax this weekend. So to all of you who are following me, know that my stress level is low, my knowledge is growing, relaxing is my goal and my heart is full of love for all of you!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
The Phone Call....
Bless the Dr who does not wait until the end of the day to make the dreaded phone call to his patient!!
My Dr called at 9 a.m. with confirmation of what type of cancer. Officially, it is called "Invasive Lobular Carcinoma". From this point on, I will call it Willard.
Willard is a rare form of breast cancer, not usually seen in the breast. He felt comfortable saying it was not seen in the lymph nodes, which is huge, because this guy would not say much at all during the biopsy. So for him to say that, I felt comfortable he meant it! Willard has an extremely high chance of spreading to my right breast....there is no telling when, but more than likely in the next 5 years.
I have requested Willard's pictures be sent to Dr. Cheruku here in Brenham. I will meet with him after he has reviewed all my information.
For now, I learn how to enjoy life more, stress less, slow down and listen, and love even deeper. My heart is healthy.....therefore let it bust at the seams with love.
I love you all. Thank you for your friendship. Your hugs, your love.
My Dr called at 9 a.m. with confirmation of what type of cancer. Officially, it is called "Invasive Lobular Carcinoma". From this point on, I will call it Willard.
Willard is a rare form of breast cancer, not usually seen in the breast. He felt comfortable saying it was not seen in the lymph nodes, which is huge, because this guy would not say much at all during the biopsy. So for him to say that, I felt comfortable he meant it! Willard has an extremely high chance of spreading to my right breast....there is no telling when, but more than likely in the next 5 years.
I have requested Willard's pictures be sent to Dr. Cheruku here in Brenham. I will meet with him after he has reviewed all my information.
For now, I learn how to enjoy life more, stress less, slow down and listen, and love even deeper. My heart is healthy.....therefore let it bust at the seams with love.
I love you all. Thank you for your friendship. Your hugs, your love.
How I got to this Point
Before I go forward with what I found out today on my biopsy, let me fill you in on how my journey began.
Late August 2011, I felt a bump on the top meaty part of my left breast. It hurt and I rubbed it all the time. It felt like a really deep bruise, so I kept my eye on it. I figured I had bumped it during the time I was moving things around preparing for school. At the end of the second week, it was still there, same pain and I made an appointment to check it out.
After the Dr checked and poked and moved she said not to worry. Cancer does not move. Breast cancer is a knot that stays put and mine could move all over with a finger. Breast cancer also does not have pain associated with it and this did.
So, life went on. Ice on it when it was really hurting. Live life!!
This summer I noticed that my breast tissue started to dimple and my nipple started to shift to the side and invert. I went to the Dr with cosmetic surgery on my mind....get the mass out and fill up the space it was taking up and things will go back in place. Being told it was cancer was not a shock at all. Anything that misfigures your body shouldn't be there!
Late August 2011, I felt a bump on the top meaty part of my left breast. It hurt and I rubbed it all the time. It felt like a really deep bruise, so I kept my eye on it. I figured I had bumped it during the time I was moving things around preparing for school. At the end of the second week, it was still there, same pain and I made an appointment to check it out.
After the Dr checked and poked and moved she said not to worry. Cancer does not move. Breast cancer is a knot that stays put and mine could move all over with a finger. Breast cancer also does not have pain associated with it and this did.
So, life went on. Ice on it when it was really hurting. Live life!!
This summer I noticed that my breast tissue started to dimple and my nipple started to shift to the side and invert. I went to the Dr with cosmetic surgery on my mind....get the mass out and fill up the space it was taking up and things will go back in place. Being told it was cancer was not a shock at all. Anything that misfigures your body shouldn't be there!
Monday, August 20, 2012
The biopsy-otherwise known as PAIN in the boob
50 Shades of Grey pain times 100!!!!
Good thing I took Lamaze years ago, I had to call on those breathing techniques to endure the pain. The whole procedure was pretty amazing. It just hurt.
First they did the ultra sound a little. Once they decided where to go into the mass, I received a shot to numb the area. Then a scalpel was used to cut a small area for the "gun" to be pushed in. Now the. "gun" as they call it was very boring...a white tube actually. The part that caused bodily harm was the Sonic-like straw attached to the end. That is the part that is pushed into the mass...and beyond. The beyond part is what wasn't numbed...so when he pulls the trigger the "straw" shaves off a layer of cells and there is sample one. I truly thought that my nipple was going to be sucked inside my chest and up the straw. Pure sharp pain. Now repeat that process. Now repeat that process. And repeat it again. And one final time.
It really made me sick to my stomach, kinda like when you give blood and then stand up to fast.
The dr says its about 3 inches long and it looks like it has lightening strikes coming out of it. Actually pretty artistic on the screen. Now we wait up to 72 hours. They will call the lab to come pick it up. They put dye into the cells and let them sits to see what they look like in a day or so. I was hoping for Wednesday, but he seemed to lean toward Thursday.
Afterwards I went and got the worst pedicure ever. A little uncomfortable because of the pain. But she was a newbie and made 4 out of 10 toes bleed. No relaxation today. *sigh*
Good thing I took Lamaze years ago, I had to call on those breathing techniques to endure the pain. The whole procedure was pretty amazing. It just hurt.
First they did the ultra sound a little. Once they decided where to go into the mass, I received a shot to numb the area. Then a scalpel was used to cut a small area for the "gun" to be pushed in. Now the. "gun" as they call it was very boring...a white tube actually. The part that caused bodily harm was the Sonic-like straw attached to the end. That is the part that is pushed into the mass...and beyond. The beyond part is what wasn't numbed...so when he pulls the trigger the "straw" shaves off a layer of cells and there is sample one. I truly thought that my nipple was going to be sucked inside my chest and up the straw. Pure sharp pain. Now repeat that process. Now repeat that process. And repeat it again. And one final time.
It really made me sick to my stomach, kinda like when you give blood and then stand up to fast.
The dr says its about 3 inches long and it looks like it has lightening strikes coming out of it. Actually pretty artistic on the screen. Now we wait up to 72 hours. They will call the lab to come pick it up. They put dye into the cells and let them sits to see what they look like in a day or so. I was hoping for Wednesday, but he seemed to lean toward Thursday.
Afterwards I went and got the worst pedicure ever. A little uncomfortable because of the pain. But she was a newbie and made 4 out of 10 toes bleed. No relaxation today. *sigh*
Sunday, August 19, 2012
If you take the time to align the STARS of your life, you should know the answers before you go to the Dr.
For instance...My FAVORITE Movie is "The Family Stone". I love the house! I love the humor! I love the way the mom loves her children.....I love the depth of love between her and her husband. EVERYTIME I watch it I cry, the last three times I sobbed! So, there is Clue #1
Clue #2....David moves back to HOME, otherwise known as TEXAS in June. The future wasn't as bright working with his dad as he had hoped. But ya know what? He tried!! David is my favorite because he was my first born.
Clue #3....Dean struggles with what to do. Play football at Trinity Valley or not. In the end, it was not. Then Blinn offered him a QB spot....to play or not to play....again, it was not. I still struggle with wrapping my head around his decision. If it was based on my health, it would crush me. I hope that he truly is taking the first step in planning his future. Dean is my favorite because he is my last child.
Clue #4...Although Darcee has graduated, has lived on her own, has a job, and has a bright future...she is at home. NOT where she wants to be.....but maybe now it is part of that big plan....hmmmmm Darcee is my favorite because she is my only daughter and third born.
Clue #5...Well, with Darrell, there were no clues for me...except I knew he has a direct line to God and would know what to pray for when I didn't. There is huge comfort for that. Darrell is my favorite because he is my second
Clue #6....My other son, (by another mother) Dallas Coleman. Dallas has been Davids best friend for 12-13 years. A lifetime. Even when David was in Arkansas, Mississippi, Hawaii, and Nebraska, David and Dallas were brothers. Knowing he is my son, we have always kept in touch. So it was nothing when he called to "catch up" three weeks ago. We said our "love yous" and hung up. Seconds later I received a text from him...he was afraid to ask me, but needed to know if I was okay. Did I have health problems. I smiled, knowing now I did, (keep in mind I have not gone to the Dr yet) but texted back, no, I'm as healthy as ever for a person who is 37 and a body of 50+ *giggles*
So on AUGUST 14, 2012 when I went to the Dr and he said you have breast cancer, there was no shock. There was no wrapping my head around it. My fear was the financial burden on my family...that lasted about 1 1/2 minutes.
My next question was if I do nothing....what happens...?? 3-5 years was his answer. Well, I have 4 children, none of which are dating, married or have had children....so I needed to stick around longer than that. Next the Dr said were the mamogram and ultra sound.
AUGUST 16, 2012
The Dr on Tuesday had gar-un-teed that I would have some answers after the tests today. The people there were M.D.'s and they would give me answers. Well, left hand doesn 't know what right hand is doing so.....
I got no answers. The word suspicios was used twice....biggie wow, So I left there a little (okay, alot) pissed off that I had no answers and they just ran tests that I didn't need, because this mass is huge and it hurts like hell sometimes. So there was really no need to take pictures for something we knew was there.
I was putting together the letter I was going to write when the Dr's nurse from Tuesday called. She was totally surprised I knew nothing. She had just gotten done talking to the Dr who looked over the ultra sound and mamgram and confirmed there was a lump. DUH!
She was sweet and explained it was protocol. Okay, on to the biopsy. I scheduled it for Monday, AUGUST 20, 2012. Same place. After we get the lab results we will know what kind it is...(breast cancer is not just breast cancer....it can be a wide range of cancers that settle in our breast(s) and the treatment can begin.
Of course I wanted to know why I had to come up and do the picture stuff if we knew...and she explained that the biopsy is invasive, you can't go around poking into a boob (okay, she said breast) without reason. Still don't understand if you can feel the sucker, you know it's there....but anyway....She explained there are 5 levels of confirming cancer....Level 1 is like a storm cloud in the distance, you need to be aware that things might be coming...up to Level 5 which is a full blown hurricane....so lets just call me Hurricane Deb! I'm level 5 CONFIRMED!
For instance...My FAVORITE Movie is "The Family Stone". I love the house! I love the humor! I love the way the mom loves her children.....I love the depth of love between her and her husband. EVERYTIME I watch it I cry, the last three times I sobbed! So, there is Clue #1
Clue #2....David moves back to HOME, otherwise known as TEXAS in June. The future wasn't as bright working with his dad as he had hoped. But ya know what? He tried!! David is my favorite because he was my first born.
Clue #3....Dean struggles with what to do. Play football at Trinity Valley or not. In the end, it was not. Then Blinn offered him a QB spot....to play or not to play....again, it was not. I still struggle with wrapping my head around his decision. If it was based on my health, it would crush me. I hope that he truly is taking the first step in planning his future. Dean is my favorite because he is my last child.
Clue #4...Although Darcee has graduated, has lived on her own, has a job, and has a bright future...she is at home. NOT where she wants to be.....but maybe now it is part of that big plan....hmmmmm Darcee is my favorite because she is my only daughter and third born.
Clue #5...Well, with Darrell, there were no clues for me...except I knew he has a direct line to God and would know what to pray for when I didn't. There is huge comfort for that. Darrell is my favorite because he is my second
Clue #6....My other son, (by another mother) Dallas Coleman. Dallas has been Davids best friend for 12-13 years. A lifetime. Even when David was in Arkansas, Mississippi, Hawaii, and Nebraska, David and Dallas were brothers. Knowing he is my son, we have always kept in touch. So it was nothing when he called to "catch up" three weeks ago. We said our "love yous" and hung up. Seconds later I received a text from him...he was afraid to ask me, but needed to know if I was okay. Did I have health problems. I smiled, knowing now I did, (keep in mind I have not gone to the Dr yet) but texted back, no, I'm as healthy as ever for a person who is 37 and a body of 50+ *giggles*
So on AUGUST 14, 2012 when I went to the Dr and he said you have breast cancer, there was no shock. There was no wrapping my head around it. My fear was the financial burden on my family...that lasted about 1 1/2 minutes.
My next question was if I do nothing....what happens...?? 3-5 years was his answer. Well, I have 4 children, none of which are dating, married or have had children....so I needed to stick around longer than that. Next the Dr said were the mamogram and ultra sound.
AUGUST 16, 2012
The Dr on Tuesday had gar-un-teed that I would have some answers after the tests today. The people there were M.D.'s and they would give me answers. Well, left hand doesn 't know what right hand is doing so.....
I got no answers. The word suspicios was used twice....biggie wow, So I left there a little (okay, alot) pissed off that I had no answers and they just ran tests that I didn't need, because this mass is huge and it hurts like hell sometimes. So there was really no need to take pictures for something we knew was there.
I was putting together the letter I was going to write when the Dr's nurse from Tuesday called. She was totally surprised I knew nothing. She had just gotten done talking to the Dr who looked over the ultra sound and mamgram and confirmed there was a lump. DUH!
She was sweet and explained it was protocol. Okay, on to the biopsy. I scheduled it for Monday, AUGUST 20, 2012. Same place. After we get the lab results we will know what kind it is...(breast cancer is not just breast cancer....it can be a wide range of cancers that settle in our breast(s) and the treatment can begin.
Of course I wanted to know why I had to come up and do the picture stuff if we knew...and she explained that the biopsy is invasive, you can't go around poking into a boob (okay, she said breast) without reason. Still don't understand if you can feel the sucker, you know it's there....but anyway....She explained there are 5 levels of confirming cancer....Level 1 is like a storm cloud in the distance, you need to be aware that things might be coming...up to Level 5 which is a full blown hurricane....so lets just call me Hurricane Deb! I'm level 5 CONFIRMED!
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