If you take the time to align the STARS of your life, you should know the answers before you go to the Dr.

For instance...My FAVORITE Movie is "The Family Stone".  I love the house!  I love the humor! I love the way the mom loves her children.....I love the depth of love between her and her husband.   EVERYTIME I watch it I cry, the last three times I sobbed!   So, there is Clue #1

Clue #2....David moves back to HOME, otherwise known as TEXAS in June.  The future wasn't as bright working with his dad as he had hoped.  But ya know what?  He tried!!  David is my favorite because he was my first born.

Clue #3....Dean struggles with what to do.  Play football at Trinity Valley or not.  In the end, it was not.  Then Blinn offered him a QB spot....to play or not to play....again, it was not.  I still struggle with wrapping my head around his decision.  If it was based on my health, it would crush me.  I hope that he truly is taking the first step in planning his future. Dean is my favorite because he is my last child.

Clue #4...Although Darcee has graduated, has lived on her own, has a job, and has a bright future...she is at home.  NOT where she wants to be.....but maybe now it is part of that big plan....hmmmmm Darcee is my favorite because she is my only daughter and third born.

Clue #5...Well, with Darrell, there were no clues for me...except I knew he has a direct line to God and would know what to pray for when I didn't.  There is huge comfort for that.  Darrell is my favorite because he is my second

Clue #6....My other son, (by another mother) Dallas Coleman.  Dallas has been Davids best friend for 12-13 years.  A lifetime.  Even when David was in Arkansas, Mississippi, Hawaii, and Nebraska, David and Dallas were brothers.  Knowing he is my son, we have always kept in touch.  So it was nothing when he called to "catch up"  three weeks ago.  We said our "love yous" and hung up.   Seconds later I received a text from him...he was afraid to ask me, but needed to know if I was okay.  Did I have health problems.  I smiled, knowing now I did, (keep in mind I have not gone to the Dr yet) but texted back, no, I'm as healthy as ever for a person who is 37 and a body of 50+ *giggles*

So on AUGUST 14, 2012 when I went to the Dr and he said you have breast cancer, there was no shock.  There was no wrapping my head around it.  My fear was the financial burden on my family...that lasted about 1 1/2 minutes. 

My next question was if I do nothing....what happens...??  3-5 years was his answer.  Well, I have 4 children, none of which are dating, married or have had children....so I needed to stick around longer than that.  Next the Dr said were the mamogram and ultra sound.

AUGUST 16, 2012
The Dr on Tuesday had gar-un-teed that I would have some answers after the tests today.  The people there were M.D.'s and they would give me answers.  Well, left hand doesn 't know what right hand is doing so.....
I got no answers.  The word suspicios was used twice....biggie wow, So I left there a little (okay, alot) pissed off that I had no answers and they just ran tests that I didn't need, because this mass is huge and it hurts like hell sometimes.  So there was really no need to take pictures for something we knew was there.

I was putting together the letter I was going to write when the Dr's nurse from Tuesday called.  She was totally surprised I knew nothing.  She had just gotten done talking to the Dr who looked over the ultra sound and mamgram and confirmed there was a lump.  DUH!

She was sweet and explained it was protocol.  Okay, on to the biopsy.  I scheduled it for Monday, AUGUST 20, 2012.  Same place.  After we get the lab results we will know what kind it is...(breast cancer is not just breast cancer....it can be a wide range of cancers that settle in our breast(s) and the treatment can begin.

Of course I wanted to know why I had to come up and do the picture stuff if we knew...and she explained that the biopsy is invasive, you can't go around poking into a boob (okay, she said breast) without reason.  Still don't understand if you can feel the sucker, you know it's there....but anyway....She explained there are 5 levels of confirming cancer....Level 1 is like a storm cloud in the distance, you need to be aware that things might be coming...up to Level 5 which is a full blown hurricane....so lets just call me Hurricane Deb!  I'm level 5 CONFIRMED!