Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving found me surrounded by all four of my children, my husband and two dogs. Life could not have been better, unless I felt better! LOL! It was a rough week physically. I have found and confirmed by my Dr that the side effects will build up and some will get worse before they get better. The hot flashes are back times 100. Thanksgiving Day I had the air condiitioner set at 67. The family had blankets on them and I had ice packs on me. The Dr said this side effect will drive my family crazy in the months ahead. Oh Joy! Emotions are also becoming uncontrollable. The Saturday of Thanksgiving Break I had a meltdown. I was disappointed that I wasn't getting much help. I started throwing dishes in the cabinets as I put clean dishes away. I tossed silveware in the drawer. Finally they came to see what was wrong. I cried and cried and sobbed. I said what do I need to do to get help. It was a double-edged sword that I couldn't win. I want life to be "normal". But I can't do it all, so that is not normal. But, the kids have been amazing since then. A few days they have "vacationed". But then, so have I. It's okay to use paperplates. It's okay not to do laundry everyday. It's still there the next day when someone can help or I feel better. And if you run out of clean underwear, turn them inside out or go to Wally World. It's open 24 hours a day. So I am slowing down and accepting that life will be okay, even if it's not normal. Besides, who decided what normal is? I have learned to be Thankful daily. Hourly. Each minute. There is so much to be thankful for when you are faced with the possibility of having it all disappear. Or should I say, me disappearing from it. I speak to God all day long wishin' and a hopin' for more time to enjoy his earthly gifts. I know everyone is thankful for what they have. That is why you rushed out on Black Friday to get more of that "stuff". Instead of that, I enjoyed getting up early and listening to the quiet of a full house. The warmth of love that had been shared during the day of Thanksgiving. My precious children allowed me to take their pictures. And my daughter, Darcee, who always thinks outside the box created and printed signs for the pictures. One group of signs said "We Love Our Mom" and the other said "Bald Is Beautiful. Fight like a Girl". They each held a sign and through the tears I tried to focus and take their picture. I was not feeling good at all on Thanksgiving Day, but sucked it up and had my picture taken with them also! I'm so glad I did! I love those pictures!!!!!! Please do not wait until someone gives you a time limit on life before you learn to live, really LIVE, laugh harder and love deeper. And be thankful.