Merry Christmas

The Heartbreak of Newton

Everyone's heart grew heavier with the news of the shooting in a peaceful town, much like Anytown, USA. Ordinary people instantly became heroes and innocent children instantly became Angels. There is no other place for those who lost their lives...than Heaven. If this tragedy didn't make you hug your children tighter or call those you love and tell them you love them, nothing will. A Nation instantly adopted a town and prayed, morned and struggled with the why's. To me, this is not an issue of gun control. Except I would agree that assult weapons DO NOT need to be in the hands of the average citizen. But I do see it as a need for better screening for mental health care. Maybe more trust should be put into the observatons of teachers at school. We see at a very early age those children who struggle with demons. But there is not place to start the process of extended mental health care. I would hope that the the loss we as a Nation endured with this shooting, the Twin Tower attack, the Oklahoma City attack and the many other invasions of peace and loss of life would spark you to appreciate your life and those you love more. We need to live each day as if it were our last without loosing site of a wonderful future.

12-12-12

If there was anything magical about this date, I felt it! There is no better place to have a birthday than at Middle School. IF the students like you, you will get birthday wishes all day. I received wishes all day Wednesday, all day Thursday and all day Friday! They knew they had heard it on the announcements. I think they forgot what day they heard it, or for some, Friday was the first chance they had to see me. Regardless, it will go down as one of the best birthdays I have ever had. My dear friends Bethany, Lisa and Megan decorated the library with streamers and balloons so it was VERY FESTIVE!! It was a GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!

Not for the weak...

I'm giving you fair warning that this post will discuss my bodily functions... Okay, so your reading on....you're the kind of person that would stop and watch a train wreck also! Lol! Friday was treatment day. I was the youngest patient there. Not sure what I should make of that! But I felt healthier than allllll of them! There is an unspoken bond we all share. Lots of small talk...several patients enjoyed the cooking shows for hours on end! I did catch a green bean recipe that looked yummy! Just before the Benadryl hit and I slept for 3 hours. I learned this time that some of the meds have side effects that the Benadryl helps discourage. I don't know what they are, but I did notice my arms had lots of dark brown blotches appear, but left awhile later, so I'm thanking the Benadryl for that. I truly felt great last night. The side effects of the shots were gone and so for the first time in WEEKS I walked without any pain in my bones. I felt great, I felt my age instead of previewing that of a 90 years old! Darcee and I headed to college station and enjoyed some Christmas shopping. Even hitting some great bargains! Whhhoooohooo!! I finally fell asleep a little after 3 a.m. I slept sound and felt great when I woke up around 8 a.m. The dogs enjoyed a walk before I headed off to HEB. Groceries put away, soup in the crock pot, laundry going...and it hit me! A HOT FLASH. These are not just run of the mill hot flashes. These last forever and make my bald head sweat! Lol...the good part is when the Ac kicks in and the sweat cools fast!! Needless to say the AC got turned down to 67 again. It must be my magic number. My hot flashes really zap my energy. So it wasn't much longer and I was worn out. Since 2 p.m. I've been laying in bed. Done some online shopping and lots of solitaire. I recently read that a lot of chemo patients play solitaire for hours. It has our mind concentrating on one thing vs. when the chemo brain kicks in and I think of a million things but can't concentrate on doing more than one at a time. I've become a list maker! My last round of treatment and this round have played a number on my intestines. I pass gas all the time. Sometimes not knowing its coming. Sometimes it's a machine gun going off. Sometimes silent and deadly. Two days after my last treatment I'd pass gas - or did I? I ended up changing my underwear 3 times that day. Lol! I went to school that Monday and felt terrrrrrible. Luckily it wasn't the meds, I ended up being sick with a bug that ruined most of my thanksgiving day break. BUT, timing is everything....I had the luxury of having time off and not missing work! It's wonderful how HIS plan works out sometimes! Anyway on that Monday I had to tell Mrs Still I couldn't make it all day. And explain that my gas was a challenge and I didn't bring extra underwear to school. She swears I'm the only one who can make cancer funny! At our first faculty meeting before school started, Mrs Still allowed me to tell my BMS Family that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Starting off my story, I made it a point to tell the males at our campus to be the extra set of hands and be aware of changes in their wife/partners breasts. Before they meander to their dander, do a little breast maintenance. We would call it foreplay, they can call it inspecting! Either way, be AWARE! I had them in giggles! I remember then Peggy saying only Tackett can make cancer funny. Well, what doesn't kill us we should get to say NA NA NA NA BOO BOO to! Cancer won't kill me! It'll be some driver in Brenham who shouldn't have had their license renewed or is not patient with the road construction! YIKES! Well, gotta go gas urge coming, tummy tightening, feels .......wet!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving found me surrounded by all four of my children, my husband and two dogs. Life could not have been better, unless I felt better! LOL! It was a rough week physically. I have found and confirmed by my Dr that the side effects will build up and some will get worse before they get better. The hot flashes are back times 100. Thanksgiving Day I had the air condiitioner set at 67. The family had blankets on them and I had ice packs on me. The Dr said this side effect will drive my family crazy in the months ahead. Oh Joy! Emotions are also becoming uncontrollable. The Saturday of Thanksgiving Break I had a meltdown. I was disappointed that I wasn't getting much help. I started throwing dishes in the cabinets as I put clean dishes away. I tossed silveware in the drawer. Finally they came to see what was wrong. I cried and cried and sobbed. I said what do I need to do to get help. It was a double-edged sword that I couldn't win. I want life to be "normal". But I can't do it all, so that is not normal. But, the kids have been amazing since then. A few days they have "vacationed". But then, so have I. It's okay to use paperplates. It's okay not to do laundry everyday. It's still there the next day when someone can help or I feel better. And if you run out of clean underwear, turn them inside out or go to Wally World. It's open 24 hours a day. So I am slowing down and accepting that life will be okay, even if it's not normal. Besides, who decided what normal is? I have learned to be Thankful daily. Hourly. Each minute. There is so much to be thankful for when you are faced with the possibility of having it all disappear. Or should I say, me disappearing from it. I speak to God all day long wishin' and a hopin' for more time to enjoy his earthly gifts. I know everyone is thankful for what they have. That is why you rushed out on Black Friday to get more of that "stuff". Instead of that, I enjoyed getting up early and listening to the quiet of a full house. The warmth of love that had been shared during the day of Thanksgiving. My precious children allowed me to take their pictures. And my daughter, Darcee, who always thinks outside the box created and printed signs for the pictures. One group of signs said "We Love Our Mom" and the other said "Bald Is Beautiful. Fight like a Girl". They each held a sign and through the tears I tried to focus and take their picture. I was not feeling good at all on Thanksgiving Day, but sucked it up and had my picture taken with them also! I'm so glad I did! I love those pictures!!!!!! Please do not wait until someone gives you a time limit on life before you learn to live, really LIVE, laugh harder and love deeper. And be thankful.

As Paul Harvey used to say....And now the Rest of the Story...

Now that you have had time to steam about the lady at the cancer society of america, let me give you the rest of the story. Friends come in all shapes, sizes and ages. They come out of the woodwork when you need them...and usually didn't know you needed them! I have bragged about my friends several times, and will several times more, because they need to see in black and white thier importance. And you know, if you read it on the internet it must be true! LOL My friend, Marty Sewall was appalled with the lady who laughed at me. And, since she is retired and has extra time, she decided to pay them a visit. She had very specific details on my experience. Armed with this information, she walked in and confronted the lady who was rude to me. Because of my description, she knew she was face to face with the lady. And of course, just like a child, replied "it wasn't me!" LOLOLOL BUSTED!!! is all Marty could think of!! She proceeded to give a detailed explanation of what happened to me. And even pointed out to the lady every detail I had of my visit. The lady was of course *choke* appalled that this event happened. Marty explained that she had to believe her friend, who would make up such a story. Well, in the end....Marty walked out with several hats and a styrofoam head for me! LOL! They really wanted me to come back in and they would take care of me. But Marty explained *I'm para-phrasing here* it would be a cold day in hell before her friend came back! LOLOL!! Friends. Blessed Friendships. They are priceless and precious! Be thankful for the friends you have. Sometimes we are closer to them than family.