Let's Get Physical!!

I know...it's been a long time since I posted. I truly wanted to several times, but that meant giving up a nap to type. And most days the nap was a priority. So, to catch you up.... My last round of chemo was changed up a bit. It took 6 1/2 hours and I slept through most of it. The Dr gave me some Benedryl for some reason and I slept and slept and slept. It did my body good! I think it was to help make up for some the tough nights of non-sleep I had. I didn't get sick at all. Only worn out. Saturday was normal, Sunday the weakness hit and Monday it really hit. I went to work, but left at 3:30 and went home to bed. Tuesday morning I was rested and back to myself. Unfortunetly, "myself" didn't last long. On Monday, Wednesday and Fridays after treatment I get a shot. The shot helps produce white blood cells that the treatment is killing. The side effect to the shot is aching joints. Ache I can handle...pain wears on me. This last round of shots had my body in so much pain at times I could hardly move. My body was that of a 90 year old woman trying to get out of bed, trying to walk, trying to not hurt. The shots build up, so as the week progresses, so does the pain. Last Tuesday I left work with tears in my eyes. I drove home and crawled in bed. Every part of my body hurt. My port, my incision, my back my hips and once in a while it would go down to my right knee and felt as if the next step I took, it would fly off my body. Today, the pain is subsiding. My last shot was last Monday, so it is wearing off and I am feeling better. Just in time for Friday, to start all over again. As for other parts of my body, let me tell you what I am experiencing. The top of my head....I have not gone smooth bald. Areas of my head are, but in other areas, the hair has stopped growing and is just the nubs of a buzz cut. About 3-4 days before the hair falls out, the nubs hurt...and sore spots appear. So right now, the top of my head has a bunch of red sores....OUCH!! I am the vehicle in front of you driving patting my head....pat, pat, pat...rub, rub, rub, ... pat...rub! My back....most of the pain is between my shoulders or my lower back. Sometimes into my hips. It is ache and pain. When you are sick with a flu bug, it wears you out when you don't feel good, BUT, you know one day you will wake up and it will be gone and you say "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life is good again" But in my case it is day and night 24/7 and never a break. So it wears on me phsically and mentally. It got to a point last week when I was asking myself how much of this I could take....knowing there was more ahead. But those moments pass quickly. My toenails have flaked off also. Which, will save on nail polish, but also rules out sandals! Friday will be my third treatment. IT does not bother me to take the treatment. To me it is no long poison going into my body. It is now and army of soldiers out to defend me and fight the enemy. I picture the cells dividing and the army attacking so that the cells can not reproduce. In my mind, we win the battle. In my body, I will win the war.